Evaluation

Evaluation:

For this half term, our theme was Theater Of Cruelty. We started off looking into a practitioner called Antonin Artaud and how he brought his work to life by using Theater of Cruelty; he believed that theater should represent reality and effect the audience as much as possible, to do this, he used a mixture of strange and disturbing sounds, lighting and other performing elements.

As well as working with this theme, we were asked to base this unit on Tim Burton’s ‘A Nightmare before Christmas’ and use the character profiles as our background for a starting point.

To help us get an idea of what to aim for, we were shown videos from different A Level performances (based on Theater of Cruelty); as we weren't too sure to what we had to do. This made us realise that we were could no longer be in our comfort zone and had to push ourselves, as well as the audience, over the edge, to show the emotions that our consciousness suppresses.

When we had to create our own devised pieces, I was given the character Sally, I wasn't too sure how to create a monologue for her and base it on the theme. So, when I asked for help I was told to make it as though Sally was a victim, but a victim of what? In the end, I chose for her to be a victim of Rape; once I had finished and practiced the monologue, I realized that there was a line that made me uncomfortable the more  I read it and I knew that I was making progress in applying Theater Of Cruelty into my work. After a discussion with Head of Drama, the content with in my performance was not appropriate to the target audience.

There was a moment when it felt real.

When it felt like kindness.

When he showed kindness.

But I could see straight through him,

How his eyes turned to slits,

The way the smirk played upon his face,

How he watched my every move,

He was the wild beast and I was his pray.

It was power,

Power that he wanted, not me.

A slave for his pleasure, nothing more.

‘Obey your master’ they say,

‘Please the master’ they say,

‘Be rewarded by the master’ they say.

How is it a reward?

I gained no power, no pleasure, just pain.

Forcing himself upon me,

Forcing himself inside of me.

I was not my own.

I then had to, redo my monologue with a more appropriate approach to the audience, I decided to go with a victim of self-harming. This may not seem any better than rape, but recently self-harming has become more ‘popular’ amongst teens, as a way of releasing pain. It is becoming more of a problem that nobody seems to truly discuss; so the research from it really helped my understanding of it and in a way, I felt like I could sort of relate the other victims problems as I have experienced some myself (but I've never hurt myself). So I was able to put my emotion from that into it, as my way of being able to connect better to my monologue, but not so much, that it affects me or my performance.

   

 There was a moment I felt real,                                                                                                                                                                    No pain, No hurt, No suffering.

Do you know how it feels?                                                                                                                                                                            
How bad the need to escape is?
How far I would go?                                                                
Do you know how it feels on your skin?

The cold metallic surface upon your skin,    
The blood seeping from my veins To feel the release,    
To feel the pleasure.

I see the way they look at me, 
The way they pity me, 
Forcing me to be involved, so they can feel better about themselves,
They think I’m weak,
Too weak to protect myself,
When all along,
I AM BY MYSELF.

I’ll show them,                                                                                                                                                                             

Locked away up here,                                                                                                                                                        

Alone,                                                                                                                                                                                   

Knife against me,                                                                                                                                                                        

I won’t, I know I won’t,                                                                                                                                                                   

Or, I could rip my dress,
Tie it in a slip knot,

Put it around my neck,                                                                                                                                                             

End it here and now,                                                                                                                                                          

Give the world A FOND FAREWELL.

The Doctor wouldn't notice,                                                                                                                                                       

For weeks even,                                                                                                                                                                      

Run away,                                                                                                                                                                               

For months on end,                                                                                                                                                               

Jack wouldn't care,                                                                                                                                                                                    

If I told Him how I feel,                                                                                                                                                                  

Would he help me?                                                                                                                                                             

Could he help me?                                                                                                                                                                   

Should he help me?                                                                                                                                                                       

Will he help me?

To finish it off, I thought it would be a good idea to have ‘Sally’s song’ play as I finish, as she is talking about Jack not noticing her and not being the one for him; so it relates really well to the last paragraph in my monologue.

Although we had to do a solo performance, we were also given the option to do group movement piece for the opening. We, as a group, were in charge of what happened; we thought it would be a good idea to have the opening Song ‘This Is Halloween’ (from the film) playing in the background. Then, we thought it would be better to have a dark version of the song. Sir found us Marilyn Manson’s version, which worked really well with the theme.( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU6iP0WLsU8 ). As for the movement part, we weren't really sure as to what to do. So we took a look at Just Dance 3’s dance version to the song and tried to imitate it (this actually helped us all to develop our own dance skills in our own way). In the end, we didn't really have time to prepare it properly, so we had to cut the group performance.

Throughout this unit, I think I have developed my ability to give my opinion on the work I have been given/created; but mainly I believe that now, I am able to perform better if I can actually relate to the work.